Shoehorns

I guess they’re kind of useful.

Picasso

Let me paint a picture for you.

Please let me know how you’d react.

You’re walking your dog. Your dog is a male. A group of people walk up to you and start petting your dog. Your dog gets sexually aroused. What do you do?

A. Haha sorry about that

B. He takes after his father

C. You can’t just leave him like that…

D. Ignore it

Improper use of public infrastructure

I saw someone talking on an iPhone in a phone booth. I guess this kind of makes sense.

Fish that goes well with cheese

Fish and cheese mixture is typically pretty taboo in the culinary world. But I’m here to break stereotypes. This can easily be googled but I’m going to post using my memory:

Lobster Mac and Cheese

White clam pizza

Tuna melt

Crab pretzel

Caesar salad with anchovies

Tunnels

How in hell are they built?!?!?

Quantity of thank you’s

Who says it the most?:

Taxi drivers

Bodega cashiers

Two coworkers who don’t know each other very well

Game show winner

Jay-Z in the song Numb/Encore with Linkin Park

Shower heating

First of all, how many different showers do you think you’ve showered in?

My number is 46.

In how many of those showers, has the water gotten really hot once the toilet is flushed?

In my life – none.

I’m convinced it’s a myth that a shower gets really hot once the toilet is flushed simultaneously. I remember it happened once in an episode of Doug on Nickelodeon so it was just mutually agreed upon from that point in history that water scalds after a toilet is flushed.

iPhone mysteries

I’ve been an iPhone user for quite some time now. There are still a couple features I have yet to figure out despite how frequently I use them:

Snooze duration

Amount of time in between the first and second notification for a text message

Avengers Spoiler

I saw the new Avengers: Infinity Wars. I’m shocked none of the Avengers died.

Settlers of Catan

Let me know if you’ve ever seen a more focused player:

Laser. Focus.

Happy Mother’s Day

To all the amazing Mothers out there. But especially my Mom, Bubbie, and Grandma. Because they’re the best. I love you so much and thank you for all you’ve done for me.

#ExpandTheBrand