Breast Feeding

I went to a Yankee game today. Three rows behind me, I saw a woman openly breast feeding. Here are my thoughts on breast feeding in public through various stages of my life:

6 months old – LUNCH!

12 years old – ewwww gross!!

21 years old – go get a fucking room

23 years old – imagine if they put her on the Jumbotron right now

This is how I’m trying to grow my blog

I matched with a girl on tinder who said she was a photographer in her bio. This is the conversation that ensued:

The morning after summary

I watched three things on tv last night: Westworld, Silicon Valley, and Cavs-Pacers. I will now summarize all three.

Cavaliers win the opening tip. Bernard washes up on the shore and his glasses float away. They start talking about how this guy had sexual relations with a robot on Silicon Valley (which is literally the entire basis of Westworld). Then Jared goes on tv and does an interview and then puts injections in his lips to make them bigger. Kevin Love dishes to Kyle Korver for three to give the Cavs a 4 point lead with two minutes remaining. A bengal tiger is found dead.

I’ll never run a marathon

I’m just not cut out for it.

Questions I asked myself that made me laugh

The word “blog” is a combination of the words “web” and “log.” Is it still considered a blog if you print it out?

Is a flight up in the air if it’s already booked?

Is a degree from Trump University or The Electoral College more valuable?

A genius that isn’t me

At Yankee Stadium, they sell an incredible product. It’s a big cup filled with soda, topped with a little bucket of fries and chicken fingers. Oh, and a straw goes through the bowl of food. So you have access to the fried goodness, bubbly sugar drink, AND YOUR SECOND HAND (Oxford comma gang or die). Here’s an impressively attractive video of me using this innovation:

You can tell how much I cared about making this a good video because I put chicken and soda in my mouth at the same time. I sacrificed a gross bite for my readers.

#ExpandTheBrand