Opposite of a Denouement

I’ve been on the toilet about 25 minutes too long so I’ve decided to start a blog. Hopefully this keeps going for many moons and many shits. Yes, the design and layout of the site is atrocious. But that’s for the art director to figure out – not the copywriter. So be patient with it.

Whilst in the bathroom, I might as well talk about how I’d improve my bathroom.

1. I want a smart shower. One that you can control to an exact degree. The sous vide uses the same technology, so why can’t my shower? Fuck you Kohler. I should also be able to turn it on and set my temperature from my iPhone. Fuck you Apple.
2. One-ply toilet paper should be banned.
3. If I’m not supposed to use Q-tips to clean my ears… GIVE ME A BETTER OPTION.
4. Public bathrooms should have baby wipes. Find me someone that doesn’t enjoy a moist piece of cloth where the sun don’t shine.
5. Follow me on twitter @BanPinkLemonade
6. A Where’s Waldo book should be in my bathroom.
7. Baths are underrated. The bathroom tub in my apartment is pretty gross. I’ve still tried to take baths on multiple occasions. Most recent was last Thursday.

Anyways, here’s a picture I took today:

Also, you definitely had no idea what “denouement” meant in the title of this post. You definitely googled it. You learned a new word today. Congrats.