Not A Racist Comment

I was out to eat at J.G. Melon (2nd best burger in NYC), and I overheard a lady gauging the chocolate intrigue from another member at her table. This is how she phrased her question:

“Are you a chocolate person?”

Now, I’m not usually one to pick apart verbiage of others, but I feel like she has to try a different way to phrase that question.

Perhaps, “do you like chocolate?” Maybe even, “does chocolate tickle your fancy?”

On the other hand, I may start using that sentence form when I ask someone if they like something.

“Are you a Chinese person?”

“Are you a White Russian person?”

Miley

At some point in my life, I will buy a substantial plot of land in Montana. Large enough to be considered a town.

I will name this town, Hannah.

Hannah, Montana.

Denim Denim Denim

I wear jeans a lot. I can never decipher whether dark or light jeans are currently more fashionable. I feel like it changes every 6 months.

My instincts say that light jeans are in now.

I recently bought three pairs of dark jeans.

I’m going to continue to wear them until dark jeans are “in” again.

Chef D

What’s for lunch?

Once Told Me

I got called “buddy” the other day. Is “buddy” just a shortened version of “somebody?”

Dwyane Reid

I live directly across from a Duane Reade. I’m still too lazy to go to Duane Reade when I need something.

It’s not just you.

Express

I cannot stand when people say “expresso” when referring to espresso.

Where did that even come from?

Do people think it’s express because you only get a small shot of it rather than a full cup of drip coffee?

Break In Case

Thin wallets have been very trendy amongst men recently.

I’ve given it a lot of thought because I don’t like when my bulky wallet (humble brag) bulges through my pants. I want the other bulge to draw all the attention.

I’m nervous to switch to a thin wallet.

@ThinWalletGuys – where do you keep your Chick-fil-A gift card and emergency condom?

Fork Me

I’ve heard everyone’s complaints about washing spoons and having the water splooge everywhere.

I’ve gotten very skilled at washing spoons. If anyone needs some spoons washed, I’m your man.

Spiderman

While walking in the street the other day, a random crazy man turned to me and uttered the following phrase:

“With great beard comes great responsibility.”

For some reason, this really resonated to me.

I cannot wait to spread this guy’s message.

Even though he was probably on meth.

You Raise Me Up

In New York City, there are elevators that lead directly onto the sidewalk from the Subway.

It’s really weird and it took me years to realized how obscure it is.

Top 5 Top 5 Top 5

For those of you know know me well, you know that I rank everything, i.e. best sandwich I’ve had in New York, third favorite type of lettuce, least favorite smell, etc.

Per the advise of Sam Rubin, I’m going to make a few lists for you guys.

Top 3 Italian Restaurants in NYC

1. I Sodi
2. Lilia
3. Angeletto

Top 5 Favorite Drake Lyrics

1. I like my girls BBW. The type that want to suck you dry then eat some lunch with you.
2. Shout out to Asian girls, let the lights Dim Sum.
3. All my exes live in Texas like I’m George Strait.
4. I think I’m addicted to naked pictures.
5. She was sitting on that big butt, but I was still staring at them titties though.

Top 2 Favorite Dog Stores in NYC That I’ve Been To

1. Citipups Chelsea
2. American Kennels

Top 2 Least Favorite Dog Stores in NYC That I’ve Been To

1. American Kennels
2. Citipups Chelsea

Top 3 Things I Make In My Air Fryer

1. Sweet potato fries
2. Chicken wings
3. Canadian bacon

Top 1 Yankee Candle Scents

1. Pink Sands

Mardi Pardi

This weekend is Mardi Gras. Here’s a picture of Ben Susskind and I at Mardi Gras two years ago:

That’s my baby.

 

#ExpandTheBrand