Indigenous Peoples’ Day

This may just be me being small-minded and intolerant.

But really?!? Some states have made a holiday called “Indigenous Peoples’ Day.”

It’s not just a random day in the middle of the Gregorian Calendar. It’s on Columbus Day.

Do the inventors of this holiday know the implications of what they did?

By making these holidays on the same day, I had to go to work today.

Maybe in the future, we’ll have off for Indigenous Peoples’ Day.

Had they made it a different day, that could potentially be a day off for each.

That’s 2 (two) days off.

Good Humor

Here is an old joke that still resonates today:

“Can you hear me now?”

“Good.”

Dating

When I was a mere child, I never knew the date.

As a student, I never knew the date.

As a working man, I always have to know the date.

I am now a dating expert.

Under My Umbrella, Ella, Ella, Eh

I’m an umbrella guy.

However.

There’s one thing I hate about using an umbrella.

When I’m walking and I’m unsure if it’s raining or not, the action of reaching your arm out to check if it’s still raining is the most bitch thing a homo sapiens can do.

Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture

Girls love taking pictures during pregames. Here are some of the comments I overheard this weekend.

• “You need to put the flash on with this background.”
• “Ew, I look so ugly in this picture.”
• “Ew, I look so gross in this picture.”
• “Ew, I look so fat in this picture.”
• “Wait, can I go on that side?”
• “My butt looks bigger from the left side.”
• “Is this too much cleavage?”
• “Am I too extra?”
• “Smile and pretend you love me.”

Please feel free to submit any comments I may have missed.

Take Cover

Remember in elementary school when we used to use clear keyboard covers to keep the keyboards clean?

Do schools still use these?

Did anyone ever clean the covers?

Why don’t people still use these?

How dirty is the keyboard that you type on everyday?

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Below is how you cut a PB&J sandwich.

Don’t @ me.

And yes, birds are creepy.

And yes again, I do toast my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

#ExpandTheBrand